Statistics

Cliff did something a few weekends ago that you should never do when you are sick. He researched his cancer, which gave him statistics. I really hate statistics because they aren’t a guarantee on what your final outcome will be. Most people offer us encouraging stories about others they know that are survivors of Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. What most people don’t realize is that Cliff has Non-Hodgkin’s T-Cell Lymphoblastic Lymphoma. This only affects 2% of patients that have Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. The 5 year survival rate of this cancer is 40%-50%.

We are getting to the point in Cliff’s cancer treatment that we start talking about life after treatment. We have to decide if Cliff needs to take the prevention meds after radiation. Most of you are thinking yes you take the medicine because its prevention and you don’t want the cancer to come back. The problem with the medicines is the laundry list of side effects and the long term damage it causes. Dr. Turner told us that he and his colleges simply don’t know what Cliff should do. The last time his doctor treated someone with this cancer was 15 years ago, and before that one other guy 5 years before. This was also treated on a different type of chemo. There isn’t enough research to say yes you need the meds or no you don’t with this early stage of lymphoblastic lymphoma. Because of the rarity of his cancer you can’t get enough patients to do a study to find this answer out.

When Cliff is in the hospital he is surrounded by death. He is with other cancer patients who have been battling for awhile and it’s time to accept that nothing else can be done.  We watch their families stand outside their rooms discussing how to make them comfortable. One week I watched this patient sleeping and his wife and daughter looked completely exhausted, but still reading the bible to him. They stood by his side the whole week until he finally passed away. I wondered how they felt. I can only imagine that they are relived, sad, and angry.  This last stay in the hospital a lady was passing away in the room behind Cliff. Her family was in and out of the hospital the whole week and eventually made it to Cliff’s room to talk. I think he talked with everyone in her immediate family. Her husband walked by one night and I was lying in bed with Cliff. He told us that he’s so happy to see us in bed and fighting this together. It was like he wished he could crawl in bed with his wife and lay there with her, but he couldn’t. He had so much sadness in his eyes. He didn’t know what to do with himself. The lady eventually went to hospice and we found out last week that she did pass away.

This leaves me with what my greatest fear since this begun. What if it comes back? The doctor can’t make any guarantees if the cancer will come back or not. However, he reminded us that Cliff has something if he ever needs it….a sibling bone marrow match. The chances of his sister being a match were 1 in 4. When I got the news she was a match all I could do was cry. When I asked Cliff how he feels about her being a match he says fortunate. She is our hope if the cancer comes back.

I think about the statistics and the dying patients and they do scare me. You can’t go through this journey and not think about death. However, I truly believe that Cliff will be okay. Cliff is a fighter and even on his worst pain days he is doing the best he can to put a smile on his face for all of us. I don’t think Cliff will ever know what an inspiration he is to everyone that is on this cancer journey with us.

Chemo Round 5/Hospital Stay 6!

Today Cliff will start his fifth round of chemo! It’s exciting to be at the half way done point. Some of you saw that I posted on Facebook that his mass is practically gone! That’s exciting news because we know the chemo is working. His blood and platelet counts are becoming slow to recover, but that’s to be expected the further he gets into treatment. (Remember to donate at Carter Blood Care if you can/willing)

So from the last time he had chemo this is what Cliff has been up too…

·         Losing his eyebrows (Sensitive subject)

·         Throwing the ball with Coy

·         Playing/Crawling with Gabriella

·         Giving me a hard time.

·         Tired (Because of all of that and low blood/platelet counts)

As we were checking in the hospital I noticed how routine/comfortable this is becoming. We walk to the admissions desk and they know us. We walk upstairs and the nurses and techs are lining up to say hi and comment on his weight gain. The dining clerk asked what Cliff wanted for breakfast and remembered that he wouldn’t eat last time.  After we got to Cliff’s room he went next door to talk with a patient that was here last time too. The billing guy came around the corner to say hi and not give us a bill! Lupe with housekeeping cries almost every time she sees Cliff. She says that he will be okay because God told her to touch his toes and she did when he was sleeping one day. They care and inspire us with their stories of themselves or family member’s being cancer survivors. I feel at ease when I’m working knowing that he’s in good hands.

The goal is for him to get discharged on Friday!

Cliff Update!

Once again it’s been a while since I’ve posted, but I’m busy/tired!  

Cliff’s “evil” B treatment wasn’t so evil. The new group of nausea meds the doctor gave him must have done the trick. It was a big relief not to experience what we did with his first B treatment…that was awful!  He will have his 5^th chemo treatment next Monday.  We’ve decided not to have any expectations when we go in for treatments because you never know how his body is going to react.

Overall he has been doing well since his last chemo. The main thing is that he’s tired. Every time he leaves the hospital he has a new chemo symptom. This time it’s a rash on his bald head. He had a platelet transfusion last Friday and he’ll get a blood transfusion tomorrow. After the blood transfusion his energy level will increase. It’s always something so we just go with the flow!

September is Leukemia/Lymphoma awareness month! The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society is a great resource if you want to learn more about blood cancers or if you would like to donate towards research. This is an organization that Cliff and I will heavily be involved with after the New Year.

Click here to Donate Now!